


I'm Here, I'm Yours

by xxenjoy



Series: Christmas Stories [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Christmas, Confessions of love, Drunk flirting, F/F, F/M, General Frustration, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Pudding, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Frustration, Top!Cas, bottom!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-03 16:10:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxenjoy/pseuds/xxenjoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was less than twenty-four hours since Gabriel had announced that he was dragging them all up to his brother's cabin for Christmas. Of course, Dean had been planning on getting supremely drunk and passing out before ten o'clock as he did every year, but Gabriel had insisted. He had given up easily enough though, when Gabriel had assured him that he was dragging his youngest brother along as well. </p><p>Castiel Novak had been Dean's best friend for longer than either of them could remember anymore, and he was one of the few people Dean could never say no to. As soon as he'd found out Cas was going, he was in. </p><p>It would be fine. It  wasn't the best decision he had ever made, but as long as he wasn't forced to be too close to Cas, he could deal. He had been dealing with the awkward feelings for a few months now. What was a week or so?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so a couple notes: Dean/Cas is the main focus here, so all the other relationships are kind of background (except maybe Sam/Gabe later on); The rating won't come in to effect till chapter 4 or 5 (sorry about that n_n;;); I'll update the tags as I go, cos I'm not 1000% sure how it's going to go.
> 
> I've made flailingZombie swear to make me finish this no matter what, so I can't guarantee there will be a new chapter each week, but it will happen eventually (hopefully before Christmas, I don’t want to drag it out). Massive amounts of thank yous all over the place to her for everything and anything.
> 
> Title comes from "Cold December Night" by Michael Buble

Charlie snuck up on him, wrapping her arms around his waist with a squeaky hello. 

"Hey, when'd you get here?"

She shrugged, "five minutes ago? Cas is inside helping Sam. You excited?" 

Dean shrugged. It was less than twenty-four hours since Gabriel had announced that he was dragging them all up to his brother's cabin for Christmas. Of course, Dean had been planning on getting supremely drunk and passing out before ten o'clock as he did every year, but Gabriel had insisted. He had given up easily enough though, when Gabriel had assured him that he was dragging his youngest brother along as well. 

Castiel Novak had been Dean's best friend for longer than either of them could remember anymore, and he was one of the few people Dean could never say no to. As soon as he'd found out Cas was going, he was in. 

It would be fine. It wasn't the best decision he had ever made, but as long as he wasn't forced to be too close to Cas, he could deal. He had been dealing with the awkward feelings for a few months now. What was a week or so? 

Charlie's voice brought him back to reality, and he realized he'd been chewing on his lip. 

"You think we should go see if Sam needs a hand?" 

"Yeah, yeah" he shook his head and followed her up into the house.

Sure enough, when they reached the kitchen, Sam was unpacking their large blue cooler, moving what he could to a second one sitting on the table. Cas was standing beside him, unpacking things from plastic bags and passing them to Sam. Both their backs were turned and Dean couldn't help but sneak up on them, spreading his arms across both their shoulders. Sam, as expected, jumped about a foot in the air, cursing at Dean but Castiel simply smirked without even turning around.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas."

Dean grinned at the pair of them. Sam rolled his eyes, chuckling.

"Charlie seems to think we should help you"

"Thank you, but I think we're almost done," Cas looked to Sam for confirmation and he nodded.

"You wanna take this one out to the car? We really need to get going. Chuck's meeting us up there at five and I want to get all this sorted before that."

"And we need to decorate," Charlie added, "right Cas?" Cas huffed a small laugh and nodded in agreement.

Dean's lips pulled up and he had to turn away before anyone noticed the blush that he was sure tinted his cheeks. 

He hurried out of the house and down to the car, balancing the cooler on the bumper as he reorganized the trunk. The others followed close behind. 

"You could fit a body in there," Gabriel poked his head around Dean, peering into the trunk, "maybe two," he wiggled his eyebrows at Dean, who responded only with an eye roll. 

"I was wondering where the hell you'd gotten to"

"Are you sure it's gonna make it up there?" Gabriel asked, looking at the tires and completely ignoring Dean's remark. 

"Of course she will, won't you Baby?" he slid a hand down the slope of the back window, earning him a few groans. 

"It should be fine," Cas offered, "It's a few hours out, but the road is mostly flat, and once we get to the dock, the rest of the way is by boat. Baby will be fine," he added with a nod toward the car. 

Dean beamed at him, trust Cas to back him up. 

Once the coolers were in the trunk and everyone had double-checked at least once to ensure they hadn't forgotten anything, they piled into the car. Sam ran back up to lock up the house and make sure all the lights had been turned out, and as soon as he was inside, Gabriel slid into the passenger seat.

"Oh no, I don't think so. I'm not putting up with Sam whining about leg space all the way up there." 

Sam returned just as Gabriel was about to reply, and quickly ushered him into the backseat. 

\- - - - -

The longer he drove, the better Dean felt, and by the time they reached the dock -almost two hours later- he was almost looking forward to the upcoming week more than he was worrying about the close proximity to Cas. 

"What is that?" Sam asked, gesturing towards what looked like an elongated shed. 

"It's a garage - of sorts." Gabriel explained, "Michael didn't like leaving his fancy ass car out on it's own so he built that to park it in when he was up at the cabin. The extension is the boat house. Same idea. You don't want to come up to a boat full of rain and who knows what else." 

When Gabriel tossed the keys to Sam to unlock it, Dean reversed in, careful to leave enough space to open the connecting door, and stopped the car. 

He and Sam quickly set to work shifting all their luggage from the trunk to the dock while Gabriel checked over the boat. 

"Do you need any help?" Cas asked hopefully. 

"I think we've got it covered Cas, just gotta wait for Gabe to give the OK on the boat and we're set." He leaned against the door of the Impala.

\- - - - -

The boat was fine. Once Gabriel had ensure the gas tank was full, they climbed in, waited for Gabriel to lock everything up before he started the boat up and everyone huddled under the small covered area.

"This boat was not made for the winter," Cas mumbled, barely loud enough for anyone to hear over the whipping of the wind. 

"Tell me about it," Dean pulled his coat closer around him, dipping his chin beneath the collar.

Thankfully the boat ride wasn't as long as the drive, and within twenty minutes, the cabin came into sight. Built on a slope, it towered over the lake. 

The stonework that wrapped around the entirety of the building - nearly a quarter of the way up - made it look as thought it had been built directly into the rocky ledge. Dean gaped up at it, glancing from Cas to Gabriel expecting some sort of explanation.

"Your brother owns _that_?" They both gave very non-committal responses, Cas only shrugging under his coat. 

"It's not the most extravagant of his homes."

"Who _are_ you people?" 

Gabriel cackled from the front, "Not like Mikey, that's for sure."

"Jesus," Dean muttered, staring up at the floor-to-ceiling windows and cedar panelling. 

Dean knew the Novaks were a wealthy family, but if this was a vacation house that Michael only used once a year, he had grossly underestimated the extent of their wealth. He felt a pang of something he couldn't quite place, with the realization that this was how Cas had grown up. He had always had anything he had wanted, never been denied anything. Dean could never live up to that; he was working two jobs just to keep Sam in school and he had barely been able to afford the time off over the holidays until Bobby had offered him holiday pay.

Castiel seemed to sense his change in mood, or maybe it was obvious on Dean's face, but Cas smiled hopefully at him. 

"We're almost there."

"Good," he forced a grin in return. He shouldn't be thinking about it anyway. Cas was his best friend, that was all he ever had been and it would be best to keep it that way. Dean had drawn a line, and he wasn't going to cross it; it wasn't worth losing Cas for. 

He shook his head as if to clear it. It didn't matter whether or not he was good enough for Cas, whether he met his standards, because as his friend, he did and he had promised himself that he would be the best friend for Cas that he could, feelings or not. 

He looked up just in time for the boat to bounce against the bumpers on the dock. Gabriel cackled wildly and when Dean looked to see what was so funny, he was met with the image of his brother attempting to climb out onto the bow. 

Next to him, Cas said something softly, gently pushing Dean aside as he grabbed at the rope hanging off one of the back seats. Dean watched as Cas set to work, deft fingers working the rope into knots Dean had never seen before. When he was finished, Cas tugged on it, ensuring it was tied tightly and hauled himself out of the boat. He held a hand out to Dean.

Dean was sure he was blushing, he could feel the heat creep in his cheeks as he took Cas' hand and pulled himself out of the boat. He heard Charlie giggling behind him and whipped around to face her. She slapped a hand over her mouth and grinned at him. He grumbled and took the bags that Gabriel offered him, setting them next to him on the dock. It was official, he was a thirteen year old girl. 

\- - - - -

The path up to the cabin was fairly steep and rocky, but it didn't seem to have rained recently and the ground was still firm. Gabriel followed him up with the second cooler, the others left to carry the bags. They stopped at the door, waiting as Gabriel fumbled with the keychain, sorting through them until he found the right one. 

Whatever Dean had been expecting, it wasn't what he ended up faced with. The front door led into the kitchen, and beyond that he could see a massive stone fireplace that took up almost an entire wall. 

They set the coolers on the wide island and Cas and Charlie piled the rest of their bags into the living area.

"We should get this sorted out. What are we going to do about sleeping?" Sam asked, ever the prepared and responsible one. 

"There's five rooms including the master bedroom - which is mine, by the way." Gabriel smirked at Cas' eye roll and continued, "we'll have to cuddle up for the first couple nights," he shot a pointed look to his brother, "but I'm sure we'll figure something out."

Sam looked up at him hopefully and Gabriel laughed. "Go, run around. Find somewhere to sleep while I put the food away."

Dean followed Charlie out of the kitchen, picking up his duffel from the couch and looked around again without the semi-wall in the way. 

"Jesus, Cas... this place..." he hitched the bag up on his shoulder. Cas was already making his way upstairs, shaking his head. Dean jogged after him, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Where are you going?"

"The best room is up here," he grinned, "Gabriel has his room, I have mine. Ours - unless you want to share a room with Charlie."

Dean swallowed hard, and gave Cas a questioning look that the other man frowned at.

"What, Dean?"

"Just- never mind. Yeah, come on."

The room wasn't small, but between the two double beds and matching dressers at their feet, there was barely enough room for the bedside table squished in between. Cas chuckled, presumably at the concerned look on Dean's face, and sat down on the bed against the far wall. 

"Open the curtains and you'll see what I mean." 

Dean squeezed between the dresser and Cas' bed, standing with one knee on the mattress to pull the curtains open. Cas rose up beside him, folding his arms against the windowsill. 

"Wow, Cas. I can see why this room's your favourite." 

They looked out over the lake, and in all directions all you could see was the rolling hills covered in snow-tipped trees, and the lake settled gently between them. Dean let his head fall against the glass, letting his gaze drift back and forth between the hills and the shining lake. The sun was high in the sky, not shining brightly, but every beam was reflected in the lake's surface giving it the illusion of liquid silver. 

"I used to sit up here for hours and just look out. Sometimes I would paint, but most of the time I was just hiding from Gabriel."

"He's always been like... _that_ then?"

Castiel laughed, "if you mean the jokes, then yes. He's always been like that." A brief silence followed, that was interrupted by Cas' intake of breath. "Is everything okay, Dean?"

A nervous heat spread up Dean's neck and he shrugged, struggling to find the words he was looking for. Obviously he hadn't been as collected as he had thought.

"I'm alright Cas,"

"You've seemed off most of the day."

He shrugged again, not knowing what else to do with his body. He didn't have an excuse, at least not one he could give, "I'm okay. I promise." 

Castiel opened his mouth to reply, but a knock on the door interrupted him, much to his dismay. He greeted Charlie with a frown as she poked her head through the door, but Dean grinned at her.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" he smirked, "I need to borrow Cas, if that's okay. We have a lot of decorating to do before the others get here. Oh," she turned to Dean, "Gabe's sending you and Sam out to get a Christmas tree."


	2. Chapter 2

"I really don't understand why all of this is necessary." 

Cas was standing on a chair, reaching up to tack pieces of red and white garland into place, while Charlie smiled up at him. 

"Because it's fun Cas, you act like you've never put up decorations before."

He shuffled uneasily on the chair and avoided her eyes, focusing instead on the garland in his hand. "No," he mumbled. 

"You've never decorated for Christmas before?" She sounded almost upset.

"It's fine," he assured her, hoping she would stop looking so sad, "my family - or my parents at least - are very religious. For us Christmas means Nativity scenes and the entire family going to church together. They didn't think decorations and everything else were really appropriate."

Charlie brightened and shrugged, "well we're gonna show you how to celebrate Christmas properly. No offence or anything." 

\- - - - -

A sudden gust of wind blew the tinsel from Castiel's hair into his face and he had to shake his head to keep from dropping the string of lights he was holding up above the window. 

"What do you think?" he heard Charlie asked below him.

"It's-"

"It looks like Canada threw up in here. Even more than it did before." Dean's voice interrupted, shortly followed by a loud thud. "Ow, I'm kidding, Sam. It looks great, guys." 

Cas pushed the tack into the wall and stepped down from the chair. 

"Did you find a tree?" he asked

Dean dropped his chin with a sigh and Sam beamed.

"It's great, you'll love it!"

"If we can get it in here," Dean mumbled, earning him another teasing smack from his brother. "Have you seen it Sam? It's enormous!" 

Charlie's eyes lit up and Castiel couldn't help but laugh at the exchange. 

"How big is it?" she asked, hurrying to the back door, "holy shit, Sam!"

Cas' eyes flicked from the pair at the door to Dean as he sauntered over, hands in pockets and a sideways grin stuck on his face.

"So, where's Gabe?"

"He went to pick the others up from the dock. Nice tree."

"Thanks," he chucked and rubbed the back of his neck, "it was pretty much all Sam, all I did was jokingly point it out. He almost died when he saw it, I think, rambling on forever about how perfect it was." 

\- - - - -

Anna was the first through the door, wrapped up in at least three layers. She bee lined for Cas, drawing him up in a huge hug.

"Hello, Anna" he chuckled, barely able to fit his arms around the puff of her jacket. 

"Hey, little brother, I missed you"

"I've missed you too"

He couldn't deny it. Even as she squeezed him too tightly and overpowered him with her perfume, he was thrilled to see her again. His whole life, Castiel had always been closest to Anna and Gabriel but since Anna had moved back to Ohio they had barely seen each other. 

He noticed Charlie, shifting impatiently at the edge of his vision. She shot him a hopeful grin and Cas pulled slowly back from Anna. 

"I think Charlie wants to say hello," he smiled. Anna hugged him again quickly before turning away and Castiel crossed to sit with Dean and the new arrivals. 

Chuck was, as usual, talking about his books. His girlfriend, Becky, was the newest addition to their -as Sam called it - family. Normally she was talking so fast and nonsensically that Castiel just gave her her space, and generally left her alone. Tonight he couldn't help but smile at her, watching the way she beamed at Chuck and hung on his every word like he was God. He wondered for a moment what it would be like to have someone who loved you so completely. 

His eyes flicked up to Dean, surprised to see Jo wrapped around his neck and chatting away at a ridiculous rate. His attention turned entirely to them as the word 'Lisa' reached his ears.

"She's been asking about you, Dean."

"I know, I know, and I'll call her. I will. I can't promise what I'll say to her will be what she wants to hear, but-"

"Is there someone else? Is this what this is all about?"

"No," his nose crinkled up and Cas couldn't help but grin to himself, "I mean, not really- I don't think. No, no."

"Woah, Dean what?"

"It's nothing, forget it. I'm gonna get dinner started," he turned back to face Cas, a pale flush in his cheeks, "you gonna give me a hand?"

He pushed himself up and followed Dean under the archway that separated the living area from the kitchen. The only light shone through over the counters from the living room, leaving three of the four corners of the room dark. He chuckled as Dean fumbled with a pack of matches, leaning over the counter to see what he was doing. 

Castiel picked up the two largest candles of the selection sitting next to the stainless fridge and carried them over to Dean. Chuckling, he gently took the pack of matches and struck one against the stripe of grit. It sparked immediately and he had to hold back a laugh as Dean gave him an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look and held one of the candles and held it out so Cas could light it.

They lit the larger candles and spaced them out along the back of the counters and bar. Dean's flush only grew deeper as he scowled around the room at the candles. 

Castiel couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking as he pressed a hand to Dean's shoulder. Dean tensed beneath him, but Cas simply pulled his hand away, remembering the dozens of conversations they had had about 'personal space'. 

"I'm sorry," he grinned, "I'll get Michael to have something done about the electricity before we come back up."

"You wanna grab the butter out of the fridge?" his voice was rough with irritation and something else that Cas couldn't quite figure out. Exasperation, maybe?

"Dean, are you sure everything is okay?"

"I'm fine Cas. Just tired." 

They continued in silence, navigating around each other in a way that spoke of many years working around each other. 

When Cas returned to the living area, he found everyone sitting in a sort of circle, having already started in on one of the cases of beer Chuck had brought along. 

"Dinner is ready." 

As everyone stood up and filtered out of the room, Castiel found himself alone with Sam, and without thinking, he reached out to stop him from leaving the room.

"Sam,"

"What's up, Cas?" he spun around and there was concern in his face, but Cas dismissed it with a slight shake of his head.

"Has Dean been acting odd lately?" 

Sam's frown deepened. "No, why?"

"It's nothing, he just seems a little tense tonight."

"Get a few beers in him and he'll be fine," Sam chuckled at himself and followed the others into the kitchen. 

Sam, as usual, was right. As the evening wore on, Dean cheered up considerably, especially after Charlie and Anna offered to wash up. 

As a rule, Cas didn't drink, and when he did he rarely had more than one or two and in doing so, he had become fairly good at curing and preventing hangovers. 

Tonight, he was completely gone. Somewhere around his fourth, he'd forced down a glass of water, earning him a half-judgemental scowl from Dean. After he had promised to let Dean suffer alone in the morning, he had lightened up a little, taking a few sips of water himself. 

How he had ended up lying upside down on a chair - his knees hooked over the back and his head on Dean's knee - Cas had no idea. He wasn't even sure when it had happened, but Dean was laughing and joking again, and he felt warm and fuzzy and he was highly intoxicated, so he didn't really care. 

Dean tipped his head sideways, grinning down at Cas.

"You're so smiley when you're shitfaced"

He could feel his eyebrows knit together, "I am not"

"You are," Dean practically giggled and Cas wished desperately that he had had something to record that sound, "look at you Cas, all smiley and shit" 

"Shut up"

"Great comeback, Cas" Dean reached down, pushing a hand through Cas' hair with a mischievous smirk. Castiel rolled over to retaliate, but misjudged the distance and ended up sprawled across Dean's chest. 

He returned the smirk, hoping Dean would believe it was intentional, but he could feel the flush creeping up his neck. 

A loud snort of laughter from across the room was followed by Gabriel's sarcastic groan. 

"Look guys, I know you're drunk, but you might want to wait till you get upstairs at least."

Cas huffed at him, pulling Dean back into a sitting position, but quickly looked down at his knees. If the burning in his cheeks was anything to go by, he was blushing as furiously as Dean. 

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I... miscalculated"

"No shit, you did," Dean replied, but he was laughing again, shoving Cas' shoulder playfully. 

About an hour after the incident - it could have been three, it could have only been ten minutes for all Castiel's drunken brain could tell, but it felt like an hour - Gabriel and Sam had wandered off somewhere and the other four were far too busy with themselves to be interesting. 

After nearly falling off the chair again, Castiel had given it up to lie on his back on the floor. 

"So who's Lisa?"

"Hmm?" 

"Lisa, you and Jo were talking earlier"

"You jealous?" 

Cas really didn't want to take the bait. He was too tired, and his whole body felt like lead, but he couldn't just let Dean win that easily.

"You wish"

Dean chuckled, "you are"

"I am not. I can find a date without the help of my friends," he winked and rolled out of Dean's reach, barely missing the coffee table. 

"You sure about that? Out of everyone here, you and I are the only ones who are dateless, well Jo, but that's only cos he couldn't make it up..."

Cas snorted a laugh, "you can be my date then." He froze as his own words registered and glanced carefully at Dean, who was grinning at the ceiling.

"Yeah, why not." 

A soft silence fell around them, and Cas watched the lights twinkling along the curtain rods. 

"I think I understand it all now," he mumbled.

"Hm?"

"The lights, the garlands, the tree - we need to decorate that tomorrow," he added matter-of-factly, earning a chuckle from Dean. "I can't really explain it, but it's just," he shrugged, "it feels like home."

"Okay," Dean laughed, "I'm taking you to bed before you start getting sappy, come on." 

He wasn't sure how either of them made it up the stairs in one go, but when he got to the end of the hall, Cas nearly fell into the room. He clumsily stripped his clothes off, pushing them under the edge of the bed with his foot, and climbed into bed in his boxers.

"Forgot to mention, Anna's staying with us. You can sleep with me- give her and Charlie their own bed..." he mumbled into his pillow. Dean didn't make a big deal about it, not that Cas could tell with his face planted firmly in his pillow, but after a moment he felt the mattress sink down next to him and Dean's warmth spread across the sheets. 

"'night Dean."

"G'night, Cas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, I'm so sorry about the Chuck/God thing (no I'm not). I promise to try not to make any more horrible jokes (maybe).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied before. This chapter has earned it's rating.

Dean blinked and immediately wished he hadn't. He squeezed his eyes shut again with a groan. Something pushed his hair back and he realized after a few seconds that it was a hand. There were hands on his face. Why the hell were there hands on his face.

"Cas, c'mon," he mumbled, "Personal space. Just let me sleep," he tried to roll onto his side, but a high-pitched laugh stopped him. 

"I've been sent to give you painkillers and a glass of water."

Dean held out his palm without question, only opening his eyes enough to see his visitor. "Thanks, Anna." 

"Thank Cas, he's the one who sent me," she smiled, "how are you feeling?"

"Shut up." 

She giggled, "that's what I thought. Alright, I'll let you sleep. Charlie says you have to be up before three or we're decorating the tree without you."

He managed a huff of a laugh and turned onto his side, facing the window. Tugging the curtain open, he let the image of the lake flood his mind before slowly closing his eyes. 

\- - - - -

When he awoke again, Cas was sitting on the bed across from him, nose pressed into a book. He looked over as soon as Dean sat up.

"You look terrible,"

"Thanks, Cas."

"I brought you some pancakes and bacon, but they're probably cold by now."

"Thanks. What time is it?"

"Eleven thirty."

Dean scrubbed his hands over his face before dragging himself to the edge of the bed. He took a minute to adjust to the movement before attempting to stand up. 

"When are they doing the tree?"

"As soon as you get up," Cas chuckled, "Charlie and Sam have everything set out in their little boxes around the tree. They're starting to get impatient." 

"They can wait, I'm gonna have a shower. I feel disgusting."

"I can't imagine why," Cas smirked. Dean pulled a pillow from the head of the bed and tossed it across the room.

"Better question is how are you _fine_?" He held an arm out to deflect the return of the pillow. 

"I woke up this morning, threw up and drank a lot of water with my Advil."

Dean stood up and immediately groped at the wall for support at the blood rushed to his head. He managed to pull some clothes out of his duffel and zip it back up before he needed to sit back down. 

He stumbled into the bathroom, clothing tucked under one arm. Dean tossed his clothes on the counter and turned the water on as hot as he could stand it, before sliding his boxers down and slipping under the spray. 

He flinched back at the heat, seething as he ran his hands up and down his arms, reaching out for a shampoo bottle that wasn't there. Scowling at the wall he sighed and pushed she shower door open. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he padded back into the room, crouching down by his bag. 

"Have you forgotten something?"

Dean glanced up at the man behind the book and smirked. He was sorely tempted to reply with some smartass comment like 'you', but thought better of it when he realized how it might come out. 

"Shampoo," he held the bottle up as his fingers clenched tighter around the towel. He swallowed hard as thoughts whirled through his mind - most of which involved dragging Cas into the shower with him in a less than graceful manner - and he slammed the bathroom door a little too hard. 

Dean slouched against the shower wall, his shoulders pressed flush against the tiles. Fingers splayed across his chest, breath hitching as they grazed his nipples. His cock twitched, his hand slid down almost of it's own free will, pressing against the jut of his hipbone. 

" _Fuck Cas, what are you doing to me?_ " he pushed his hips forward, fingers encircling his now semi-hard cock with a bitten off gasp. He brought his hand up sliding his thumb over the head, rolling his hips against the touch. 

Blue eyes flashed in his mind, and Dean groaned at the thought of Castiel's hands on him, fingers ghosting over his nipples, a firm hand pumping his cock. His eyes rolled back, lids drooping as he grunted and gasped. 

He was losing control too quickly, hips jerking forward, fucking into his fist. He bit his lip to stifle a moan, pumping hard and fast muttering " _oh Cas, Cas, Ca_ -" 

He drove forward hard, coming in spurts over his damp chest. 

Still panting, he pressed his back to the tiles, letting his head drop back against them as he slid to the ground. He swiped a hand over his stomach, washing away the mess and cursing himself for his lack of control. 

He quickly shampooed his hair and rinsed himself off, praying that Cas had left the room. 

When he re-emerged from the bathroom, skin lobster red and steam pouring out behind him, Cas was gone. Breathing a sigh of relief, he dumped his dirty clothes in a pile beside the dresser, adding the ones from last night on top. 

Not bothering to put on socks, he picked at the bacon left beside his bed, and made his way downstairs to a few cheers and a comment from Gabriel about Sleeping Beauty. 

Charlie and Becky were already stringing lights around the tree, and sheepish grin from Cas told him he had filled them in that Dean was awake; they had probably gotten tired of waiting. Across the room, Chuck and Sam were sitting together, chuckling about something that Dean couldn't hear. 

Jo smiled up and him and scooted closer to Anna, to give him room to sit on the couch. 

"We're making paper garlands," she explained, and Gabriel held out the chain of looped paper as explanation. Dean gave him a questioning look, but take took the tape and strips of paper that Anna held out to him anyway. "They're to go on the tree once the lights are up."

As Dean folded and taped the paper together, he watched Cas. The other man was sitting cross-legged between Charlie and Becky, sorting through the ornament hooks and untangling them. When the lights were strung, he handed hooks up to whoever was closest.

Everyone had gathered around now, hanging various balls and other ornaments. Dean leaned back on the couch, smiling at his family as they worked around each other. He grinned to himself, feeling a lot better than he had when he got up. 

Cas grinned up at him, nodding toward the tree and Dean slid off to sit beside him.

"I think you need a little more help than them," he pulled a handful of hooks out of the box and held them out to Sam and Charlie. 

"Thank you," his smile was wide and genuine. Dean's own expression fell slightly, Cas didn't know the things Dean had thought, the things he felt; he didn't know Dean was lying to him. 

"Yeah, no problem."

\- - - - -

Their tree glowed, red and white lights reflecting off every surface to light the entire room; eight feet of twinkling lights. Dean was staring at it, lost in thought, when Jo plopped down beside him. 

"Hey, wanna go for a walk?"

He shrugged, "yeah, why not. Cas and Gabe are going to pick up Meg and I'd rather be anywhere but here."

"I thought you and Meg were okay now?"

"Yeah, we're good, it just- it's been a little awkward..." _especially when Cas is around._

"Ah, well," she clapped a hand on Dean's knee. "Come on"

"Yeah, alright. Just let me tell Sam."

\- - - - -

The air was cold, but fresh. On the ground a thin layer of snow turned everything white and crunched quietly beneath their boots. Jo was watching him as they walked, but he didn't want to be the one to break the silence; he had a feeling he knew why Jo had dragged him away, and he didn't want to talk about it. Ever. 

"So you gonna tell me about this 'other girl' of yours?"

"There's nothing to tell."

" _Dean_ ,"

"It's nothing, okay," 

"I dunno Dean, you've been pretty messed up the last few months." His breath hitched, and he swallowed hard. 

"You've noticed?"

"Dean, we've _all_ noticed." 

"What?"

"You're not acting like yourself at all, Dean. Your friends are gonna notice these things," she was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes, and Dean fell back. 

"What do you want to know?" he sighed. He was far from ready to tell anyone anything, but he was probably good enough at dodging to hold a conversation with Jo. 

"Everything"

Dean laughed humourlessly, "yeah, no."

"Do I get a name?"

"No. Definitely not."

"So, someone I know, hm?"

"We know enough of the same people."

"She doesn't know, does she?" 

He scratched at the back of his neck. No, of course he didn't know. "Not exactly."

"Why not?"

"It's a little… difficult." He was done, so completely one hundred percent done with this conversation, and then she said it.

"You love her?"

His heart stopped. His lungs gave up. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, sweat prickling at the back of his neck.

"I don't know."

"Are you gonna tell her?"

"It's more complicated that that, Jo!" It wasn't meant to come out so angry, but it did, and he wasn't going to apologize for it. Jo didn't look upset, she looked concerned. That almost made it worse ad he winced at the thought of shouting at her. 

"Him. Am I gonna tell _him_."

The words were out of his mouth before he realized he was still talking. He wanted to run, to get as far away from Jo as he could and bury himself in the snow. 

"Shit, Dean-"

"Yeah, fucking tell me about it."

"I mean, Jesus, Dean."

"Enough, Jo."

"I'm sorry, I just-" a loud rumble from above, cutting her off. "What was that?"

"I dunno, but we should get back. It didn't sound good, whatever it was. C'mon."

\- - - - -

Everyone was frantic back at the cabin, and Dean had barely stepped through the door before arms were around him, a warm body pressed flush against his. He knew from the hurried mumbling next to him that Sam was fussing over Jo, but it was too small to be Sam anyway, and the scent was all wrong.

"What the hell, Cas?"

Anna filled in for him, "there was an avalanche or something, not far away. Snow and rocks and even small trees were falling into the lake. We didn't- we didn't know what to think-"

"We had no idea where you'd gone," Gabriel added, and Dean had never heard him sound so sombre, "glad to see you're both in one piece."

"That's an understatement," Cas mumbled, and Dean chuckled, letting his arms cross at Cas' back without thinking about it. 

"Shit, Cas. I'm sorry. " He couldn't help but bury his nose in Cas' shoulder, his sweater rubbing rough against it. Cas only held him tighter, and Dean didn't realize anyone was still around until a very obvious cough reached his ears. 

Cas pulled back immediately, a flush across his nose that could rival Dean's. Dean didn't want to let go, but Cas' heat was gone so quickly he didn't have a choice. 

He shuffled awkwardly, "Hey, Meg.."

"Hello yourself, Winchester." 

He had no idea what to say, what to do. Meg had always been a friend of Cas' - more than just a friend if she had had her way - and they got along well enough, but he never knew what to say to her. 

He quickly excused himself, hurrying off to find Sam. 

\- - - - -

They were all gathered in the living area again, lying around lazily when Becky suggested it. She hair gad her feet curled up in Chuck's lap, his book resting on her knees, and her head on the arm of the couch, hair dangling toward the floor. Charlie and Gabriel leapt on her idea immediately. Dean could only see it ending badly.

"Spin the bottle? What are we, thirteen?"

"Oh come on," Charlie grinned, "it'll be fun. We won't make you kiss Sam." 

Gabriel snorted, "Oh, I make no promises"

"I'll do it if Chuck does."

"Bad move, Dean. I'm in," Becky leaned up to kiss him.

"I knew I could count on you," she beamed. 

\- - - - -

Dean was less than unimpressed. He wanted to throw the damn bottle through the window, and jump through after it. 

"I hate this game."

"Come on Dean, I kissed Chuck," Sam encouraged

"You wanted to," Chuck shot back.

"Come on, does everyone have to watch?"

"Yes," Charlie said, as if it should be obvious. 

Dean's stomach jumped, and he let his eyes drift to Cas for the first time since the bottle had stopped. Every thought he had had while drunk last night and in the shower that morning came back to him, and he hated himself for ever agreeing to this stupid game. 

"Dean, I'm not going to turn you gay," 

He practically glared at him, despite his obvious joking tone. "I know that! I- fuck it. C'mere." 

Cas half-crawled toward him, sitting back on his heels with both eyebrows raised. 

Dean fumbled to sit up, pushing his legs out from beneath him to sit on them. He bit his lip. Every part of him was screaming for him to stop, to leave. It was a terrible idea, and it was going to do nothing but make things more awkward. 

Sam picked up the sprig of mistletoe he had been playing with and dangled it above Dean's head, earning him a glare and a sigh of exasperation. 

He tilted forward -better to get it over with - and leaned into Cas, eyes squeezed shut. 

Their lips met softly and Dean swallowed hard, earning a little huff of a laugh from Cas. The warmth of Cas' breath caused goose bumps to break out on his arms and he was glad to be wearing long sleeves; the last thing he needed was for someone to point that out. Dean pushed closer and Cas smirked against him. 

Just as he thought Cas was about to pull away, he surged forward, sliding his hands up Dean's thighs, pushing his tongue against the line of Dean's lips. Dean opened easily, letting Cas guide him. 

He wasn't sure who the moan originated from, or if it was even loud enough to be heard, but Cas' hands were on his hips, sliding under the edge of his shirt and all that mattered was him. 

The break was sudden, and the warmth that had been Cas was pulled away as he fell back to his seat against the fireplace. It was early evening, and though they had candles lit already, it wasn't dark enough to hide to the various emotions printed on his face.

Dean slunk back to his own seat between Chuck and Anna, wondering what she must be thinking, but not daring to look at her. 

Dean watched on as Sam kissed Anna, he rolled his eyes as Gabriel pushed Sam back against a chair, and raised an eyebrow at Meg as she blatantly refused to kiss Cas, pecking him on the nose with a wink. Charlie giggled as she leaned over to kiss Chuck, pressing a quick kiss to Becky's lips for good measure. 

When Becky spun the bottle and it landed on Sam, Meg excused herself to the kitchen, barely able to contain he laughter. 

It was no secret that Becky had been completely and utterly infatuated with Sam in high school. She was the kind of girl to write Becky Winchester on every surface of every notebook she owned; Sam had been more than relieved when Chuck had somehow whisked her away. 

Everyone was looking around the room awkwardly, not quite knowing what to expect. There was a thud in the kitchen and Dean eagerly took it upon himself to check on Meg. He leaned around the corner of the archway, still unable to stop thinking about the way she had kissed Cas. He didn't know why it bothered him so much, or why it even stuck out - maybe because it was so out of character for he - but it did. 

"You want a beer?"

He almost jumped as she held out a bottle to him, and shook his head. "No, I'm good. What's up with you and Cas?"

"Nothing," she cocked an eyebrow, "jealous?"

"No. I just thought you had a thing for him?"

"I thought you didn't?" She smiled.

Dean ignored it, "just, when you kissed him-"

"Dean, You've got to be a special kind of stupid to get between a Winchester and something he wants. I like to think I'm smarter than that."

He didn't know what to say to that, so he stood and stared at her, willing his expression to remain blank. Meg's smile softened and he let his shoulders relax.

"How did you-"

"How did I know? It's written all over your face, the way you look at him when you think no one's paying attention... Dean people would give anything to know someone was looking at them like that. You, of all people should know that he's special. Don't let him go."

He was speechless again. Meg Masters had literally stunned him into silence twice. He simply nodded, flashing her a quick smile as he turned away.

"And by the way, that kiss left very little to the imagination."

He bit back a reply, instead heading back to the other, resting against the arm of one of the couches. 

"I think I'm gonna head off, I've still got a bit of a headache, and I'm exhausted." He glanced up at Cas for a brief second, before pushing himself up and climbing the stairs. 

When he was alone in their room he undressed quickly, making a mental note to wash his clothes in the morning. The sheets were cold against his skin, but he quickly lost himself in thought, ignoring his surroundings. 

\- - - - -

The bed was distinctly warmer when he woke up, stretching out his arms and legs. He couldn't remember what he had dreamt about, but he knew it was good, and he was feeling better this morning than he had in a long time. He rolled onto his side, surprised when he met resistance, and turned over. There was a quick motion and he looked up into bright blue eyes. 

"Dean."

"Morning, Cas."

"You're very difficult to wake up."

"Sorry."

"Can we talk?"

"Can it wait till _after_ coffee?"

"No."

He huffed, still too tired to argue. "Then yeah, shoot." 

"I want to apologize, for last night."

Everything from the previous night came crashing back to him and he wasn't prepared to deal with it all so early in the morning. 

"I took advantage of a ridiculous situation, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We should…" _do that again._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, there just wasn't a lot to put into it... next one will be longer, I promise :)

He watched Dean's shoulders shrug, "We should…" 

Cas breathless response of "yeah" was barely out of his mouth, before Dean's hands were cupping his face, lips parting against his own. Soft moans escaped between them, not loud enough to reach past the edge of their bed. 

Dean was careful in his motions, his tongue sliding between Cas' parted lips, seeking out his own. He was gentle, soft and slow in a way that made heat pool in Cas' gut. Fingers pushed into the hair at the back of his neck, pulling him down closer. 

Cas' hand pushed up Dean's chest and over his shoulder, planting itself in the blankets beside his head. Cas held back, expecting Dean to pull away, but he didn't. Determined arms wrapped around Cas' waist bringing him flush against Dean's chest. 

He swallowed hard, but neither of them spoke as they pulled apart, sucking in air. Cas let his forehead fall against Dean's, pressing kisses to the bridge of his nose. He slipped his hand under Dean's head, tilting it back to guide their mouths back together. 

Castiel resolutely ignored the dull ache of arousal, growing with each touch. The heat spread through his entire body, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than the feeling of Dean beneath him. He caught Dean's lip between his teeth, before working down toward his neck with gentle nips and soft kisses. 

A loud groan startled them both to silence. Realizing it hadn't come from either of them, Cas rolled onto his back, glancing over to see his sister push her legs out from under the duvet. 

"Morning," she mumbled blearily

"Morning," Cas smiled back. 

As soon as Anna had slipped into the bathroom, he turned back to Dean with a grin. 

\- - - - -

It proved to be a lazy day. There was a fire lit constantly, and just after noon it started to snow.

Castiel leaned over the back of the chair, staring out the window as the flakes melted into the black of the lake, or collected on the dock. He could hear Dean rattling around in the kitchen, at least he assumed it was Dean. Everyone else had run outside at the first mention of snow, though he supposed someone could have snuck back in without him noticing; he wasn't paying much attention. 

He looked over as someone sat down on the arm of the chair beside him. Dean held out a glass to him with a shy smile.

"Eggnog," he explained, "don't worry, it's not spiked." 

Cas chuckled lightly, but Dean paused for a moment and even the air around him seemed to still.

"Cas we talk?"

"About this morning?"

"And last night."

He swallowed, lowering his eyes to the windowsill. "Of course."

"Hey, you don't need to sound so scared, I really just need clarification, Cas."

"I don't understand."

Dean set his own glass down on the side table and turned to face Cas. "Last night was a stupid game, Cas. This morning was... well, it wasn't. Not for me, at least."

"Dean-"

"Please Cas, this is way beyond confusing for me. The last relationship I had was Cassie, and we both know how that ended. So... I guess what I'm asking is, uh... do you want this? Because I am more than willing to try and make this work, but I gotta know. Yes or no."

Castiel's heart was racing, but he chuckled to cover it. "Are you asking me out?"

"C'mon Cas."

He hummed, wrapping an arm around Dean's waist, and pulling him into his lap so he was straddling him. His fingers pressed lightly into the skin above Dean's jeans and he leaned back, smiling up at him.

"Yes, Dean."

In a flash, Dean's lips were pressed hard against his. As Dean slid closer, Castiel wrapped his arms around him, bunching his shirt up with each upward stroke. 

Dean pulled back, extending the kiss as long as he could, before sitting back on Cas' knees. 

"Sorry," he whispered, "I uh- I have a tendency to get carried away if I don't stop myself…" he coughed, "I uh, I kinda wanna take things slow... I don't want to fuck this up..."

The front door crashed open and Dean practically fell backwards off Cas' lap.

"I'd also want to wait to tell Sam, it that's okay."

"Dean, is there any salt around?"

"I, uh-" he paused, expecting a completely different conversation, but when he looked up Sam had his head bent below the counter, "In the cupboard beside the stove, I think. What the hell do you need salt for?"

"The path down to the dock is ridiculous and Chuck nearly broke his neck." Sam chuckled as he dug through the cupboards. "You feeling better Cas?"

"Mm? Oh, yes. I'm just not fond of the snow."

"Yeah? Well Gabe's planning some bonfire thing for tonight, so watch out for that," he stood up, looking pleased with himself, "it probably won't be till late anyway."

When Sam had let the door fall shut behind him, Cas looked down at Dean and scowled.

"I swear Gabriel plans things based around my discomfort."

\- - - - -

"I don't like the cold, Gabriel. I'd rather sit inside. I don't mind."

"Come on, baby bro. If you get cold you can just cuddle up with Dean, you'll be fine." There was a complete silence as Gabriel said what everyone else was apparently thinking. 

"I really don't want to."

"Too bad."

It had been the final word on the matter, because half an hour later Castiel was huddled under two blankets, sitting on a stone bench and squished up as close as he could get to Dean after a thousand apologies that neither of them took seriously. 

Gabriel kept shooting him questioning glances, waggling his eyebrows and cackling, but Cas ignored him. Dean seemed to be glaring at him in return and Cas barely made an attempt to stifle his laugh. 

"Someone should tell a story," Charlie suggested

"Like, a ghost story?"

"No, Sam, a story about the Easter Bunny," she stuck her tongue out."

"Can you tell ghost stories at Christmas?" Anna asked. Charlie just looked at her.

"You can _always_ tell ghost stories around a campfire"

"Is this really a campfire, though,"

Castiel tuned out. He would still prefer to be inside in front of a proper fireplace where there wasn't snow landing in his hot chocolate. He poked at one of the marshmallows, watching it bob back up to the surface. The huff of a laugh told him Dean was watching and he glanced up just slightly with a sheepish grin.

"When I was little Gabriel used to tell me these were popcorn. I think I was eight before anyone told me the truth. Balthazar, I think. It definitely wasn't Gabriel."

Dean chuckled, and slid his arm around Castiel's back as discreetly as he could. Cas quickly looked around their collected friends, but no one seemed to notice, and he curled closer to Dean.

"I can't feel my feet." 

Dean laughed a little too loud, and eased himself up. 

"You wanna go to bed?"

He laughed again, probably at the look on Castiel's face, and held his hand out.

"I didn't mean, y'know. I'm not a huge sitting around and talking person myself, so..." 

Cas nodded, taking the hand he offered and pulling himself up. A few people complained when Dean said they were heading back in, but Cas ignored it. He was more concerned about what Gabriel was going to say after they left. 

He all but ran inside, taking the blankets with him, but leaving his thermos behind. Dean followed a few minutes later and they climbed the stairs slowly. Castiel crossed to the window at the back of the loft, looking down over their circle of friends. Dean came up behind him, placing a tentative hand on his lower back. 

Cas turned with a smirk, pushing Dean back far enough out of view and pressed him up against the wall with a chaste kiss.

"You weren't so subtle down there," he smirked. "Our friends are smarter than that, Dean."

"Yeah, well," he leaned down, claiming Cas' mouth, smiling against his lips, "maybe I don't care as much as I thought I did." 

"Dean," he was silenced with a press of lips, and he pushed Dean away with a chuckle. "Dean, let's go to bed."

Dean draped his arm over Castiel's hip, and Cas didn't bother to remind him they were sharing a room. He shuffled closer and closed his eyes. Thinking Dean was asleep, he laced their fingers together, pulling Dean's arm further around him. 

Cas was just on the verge of sleep, when a humming noise brought him back. 

"I'm gonna tell Sam tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's longer, just like I promised!   
> Much longer than I expected to it be, to be honest n_n;;

He was vaguely aware of a sudden warmth and pressure on his chest, and Dean opened his eyes slowly, trying to filter the light through his lashes. He thought Charlie had climbed onto his bed to wake him up -probably chastising him for sleeping so late - and he chuckled when it was Cas who smiled back at him.

"Why are you still in bed?" he mumbled

"Good morning to you too, Dean. I was waiting for you to wake up, or to wake you up if you slept too late. Chuck and Becky and Jo are leaving tomorrow. Meg's going today, so they're insisting we all sit down to breakfast together."

Dean stretched up to kiss him and Cas scrunched his nose up. 

"Up." He pulled away and Dean frowned at the lack of heat, pulling the blanket back up around his chest, only to have it tugged away again. 

Ten minutes later, Dean was sitting alongside his brother one the couch in the living area. Charlie and Anna had apparently been up for the last two hours getting breakfast ready, and by the time everyone was up they had dishes laid out on the counter. 

Cas was sitting across from him, chatting excitedly with Meg about something Dean couldn't hear, and glancing over every so often. Every time he did, Dean would grin and duck his head, hiding the stupid grin he knew was spreading across his face. Sam elbowed him, one eyebrow cocked in amusement. Dean waved him off and Sam returned to his pancakes with a laugh. 

Chuck was sitting next to the fireplace discussing his and Becky's plans for Christmas. From what Dean gathered, they were spending Christmas Eve with her family, and the next morning. He had only had Sam since their parents had passed, but even back then there hadn't been any traveling, just the four of them together. 

Dean frowned slightly, he hadn't spent much time with Sam since they'd come up here, and he was glad for the first time that he'd decided to talk to him this morning. Glad, that was, until everyone started clearing out of the living area, carrying empty plates into the kitchen. Cas immediately volunteered himself and Gabriel to help tidy up, much to Gabe's displeasure. Cas simply grinned encouragingly at Dean and disappeared into the kitchen. 

Before Dean had a chance to look for his brother, Sam found him.

"Can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Uh, yeah sure." He stumbled over his words, heart beating impossibly fast. "Um, outside maybe?" 

Sam nodded and they quickly pulled on boots and jackets. Dean was out the back door in an instant, pacing as he waited for Sam to join him. The door had barely clicked shut when Sam chuckled.

"So, you and Cas, huh?"

He almost choked.

"What?"

"I uh," he pushed a hand through his hair, "yesterday, I kinda interrupted something, didn't I?"

Dean nodded slowly, "yeah, kinda."

"So, you wanna talk about it?"

"What is there to talk about, like you said, me and Cas."

"When-?"

"The uh- the second night we were up here, I guess. The next morning, maybe?"

"I mean, when did you realize? This is kind of a huge thing for you? Like he's not just _some guy ___, he's Cas."

Dean's lips pulled up at one corner, and he wrinkled his nose to hide it. "Uh, when he came back from Balthazar's. I guess I realized just how much I liked having him around when he wasn't, and it just continued on from there."

"We kind of guessed, Gabe and I, anyway. Cas has always had some personal space issues, but for you it was new."

"So, Gabe's okay with it? I mean with you and him, and Cas being his brother and everything."

"I haven't said anything to him, but he's been expecting it for years.." Sam couldn't hide the grin he was wearing as he turned toward Dean, "I think he'll be glad you figured it out."

"I'm just worried about what happens when we go back to real life."

"Why?"

"I don't have the greatest track record Sam, there's obviously a reason for that. I just don't want him to leave."

"Dean, we have been through so much shit together, and Cas has stuck through it all with us."

"Yeah," he breathed, "yeah, you're right."

"You're worried because of Cassie, right?"

Dean's head whipped around, "Sam-"

"Hey, it's not something you're going to let go easily, but Cas isn't like that. Does he know you're worried?"

"No, it's not that important,"

Sam raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"If it becomes a problem, we'll talk, until then-"

"You'll pretend everything is fine, like always." Sam finished, there was no malice in his voice, but he shook his head. He had just opened the door to continue when the door behind him opened and he spun around. "Hey, Cas."

"We're about to head back with Meg, are you still coming Dean?"

"Yeah," he nodded and his stomach lurched again. Talking to Sam was one thing, talking to Gabriel was another, and it was going to come up if the three of them were on a boat together. 

Everyone was gathered down at the dock, bundled up against the wind and wishing Meg a Merry Christmas as she climbed into the boat. Gabe was already sitting behind the wheel and he waved at Cas and Dean to hurry up. 

He waited for Sam to say a quick goodbye, and he turned the boat, steering out to the left. They filled the fifteen minutes listening to Meg talk about her family and their holiday traditions, and sharing their own in return. 

Dean couldn't sit still. He pushed his hands over his knees repeatedly, earning a few odd looks from Meg. Cas just sat behind him and bounced his knee impatiently. The sooner they got this over with, the better. 

They reached the mainland too soon, and Meg climbed out of the boat, standing on the wooden platform. 

"So, we still doing New Year's?"

"Far as I know," Gabriel replied, "Chuck and Becky are gonna be away this year, maybe we'll hang at Dean's," he waggled his eyebrows in Dean's direction. "We'll sort it out anyway."

"Seeya Meg," Dean grinned.

"Don't forget what I said the other night." Cas and Gabe both shot questioning glances his way, but he ignored them.

"I'm not an idiot," he smiled. She laughed in return.

"Good. Seeya." She lifted a hand in a wave and turned back toward her car between the shed and Chuck's van. 

Thankfully Gabriel waited until they were halfway back to stop the boat. He pulled the key out and turned around in his seat.

"Cassie says you two want to talk."

"Yes," Cas replied, sounding much more confident than Dean felt. 

"So what's up?"

"Dean and I- We're..." he looked to Dean as if to ask for the words.

"I asked him out," Dean replied bluntly. He hadn't meant to say anything, but it had just come out. "I talked to Sam earlier and he was cool..." he shrugged.

"So you're dating my brother?"

"Yeah."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Good," he smirked, "it took you fucking long enough." 

"What?" Cas asked. This time his emotion matched Dean's as they both gaped at Gabriel. 

"Sam and I were takings bets. I lost, but only 'cause you two take too long to get your shit together."

"Gabriel-" Cas sighed. His eyes were closed and Dean was sure if he didn't interrupt there was either going to be a very awkward conversation or a rather boring lecture. Either way, he wasn't prepared to deal with it. 

"Trust Sam to make bets on my love life," he muttered, watching Gabe's grin widen. 

"You can't say you're surprised." 

"No, actually. I'm not."

"We should get back, Gabriel. We're not sure how we're going to tell the others and they're going to question it if we take too much longer."

"Oh calm down, I'm going, I'm going."

\- - - - -

Dean peered over the edge of his book, raising both eyebrows.

"Yes?"

Cas wrinkled his nose, sliding further down the couch he was had been sitting on. He sighed again and dropped the book he was holding onto the floor.

"Are you bored?" Dean asked, sarcastically. 

"Yes."

"Alright, gimme a minute." He dug around for a scrap of paper and stuck it between the pages of the book, before setting it down next to Cas'. He pushed himself up and crossed to the stairs. 

If he was honest, he couldn't exactly focus on reading himself, something a little more hands on would probably be better, so he headed down to the kitchen. 

He had started searching with the intention of making pie, but when it became sadly apparent that there was no pastry, nor anything to put in the pie, he settled on the small box he'd found stuck at the back of the pantry. 

He picked it up and carried it out, tossing it up and over the railing to where he hoped Cas was still sitting in the loft. 

He appeared above the railing a moment later, leaning over and holding the box.

"This is your solution? Butterscotch pudding?"

Dean shrugged. "Take it or leave it."

Cas rolled his eyes, but made his way down nonetheless, raising both eyebrows at Dean. 

"This isn't going to poison me, is it?"

"I checked the dates on it. You'll be fine."

Cas proved to be a more difficult cooking partner than Dean had expected. The last time they had been in the kitchen together, they had avoided each other, but tension aside now, Cas insisted on tasting everything at every step of the way, frowning when the un-set pudding was still gritty. 

"Well, yeah. You have to let it set. Give it half an hour or so and it'll be a million times better." He pushed himself up on the counter and started rummaging through one of the drawers. 

It was nearly fifteen minutes before he got antsy again. Cas, it seemed, had calmed down and was lounging on one of the couches in the mostly abandoned living area. Only Jo was still there, asleep in her chair. 

Dean bounced his heels off the cupboards, determined to find something to distract himself. All he really needed was ten minutes alone, but it was difficult to get when you shared a room with three other people. He needed to stop letting his mind wander, stop thinking about Cas. He needed to stop thinking about how he would feel and taste and -

He banged his head back against the wall. He needed to stop thinking. 

"You okay?"

Dean jumped up with a start, almost falling back against the counter. 

"Jesus, Sam. Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?" 

"We're going for a walk, might have another fire later, you gonna come?"

Dean jerked his thumb toward the covered bowl next to the stove, "we're making pudding."

"Pudding?" Sam asked incredulously.

He shrugged, "we were bored."

"Alright, whatever, we're gonna head out in a minute then. Don't panic if we're back late."

"Yeah, yeah." He watched his brother walk away and pushed himself back up onto the counter with as much dignity as he could muster. He heard Cas come back into the kitchen, but he ignored him, trying to force his thoughts onto a clean path before he gave Cas his attention. 

" _Oh, Jesus_." He had barely glanced back at Cas when he swung his head up to the ceiling, taking a deep breath before he looked back at the man. "What are you doin' Cas?"

Cas looked up with a look of confusion. "Eating pudding?"

"With your hands?"

Cas just gave him a look and laughed, "no one else is going to eat it." 

That was probably true, but totally not the point. He watched as Cas' finger slid between his lips and he cleared his throat a little too loudly.

"Cas, you've got to stop that." 

Cas' scowl turned slowly to amusement as he looked Dean over. He crossed the room, nudging between Dean's knees. Cas wove his fingers between Dean's, holding his hands down against the counter as he leaned up to kiss him.

Dean pulled his head up to break the kiss, nearly hitting his head again, but Cas continued, nosing at his jaw and sucking lightly at the skin on Dean's neck. 

"You're _really_ not helping, Cas." 

"Sorry," Cas pulled back with a sheepish grin and Dean couldn't help hunching over to kiss the look off his face. He had barely had a chance to touch him all morning, let alone kiss him, and his willpower was already stretched to the point of breaking. 

Dean slid from the counter, cupping Cas' face in his hands before letting them slide down to his hips. He didn't break the kiss as he walked Cas backwards against the opposite counter. 

Cas tongue pushed into his mouth and he let out a cut off moan, struggling to keep control. He pushed forward, matching the roll of Cas' hips and drew back from the kiss, turning his attention to Cas' neck with playful licks and bites. 

"Upstairs," he mumbled, his lips barely leaving Cas' skin as he spoke.

"Dean, you said- mmph"

"I know, what I said," he breathed, "forget it, I was wrong. Okay?" He flicked his tongue against the edge of Cas' jaw and accepted the responding moan as his understanding. "Tell me you want this," he pleaded, holding him hard against the counter "tell me you want me."

"Uhn- yes, Dean."

A low rumble escaped Dean's throat as he slid down to the floor, fingers working at the button on Cas' jeans. He could actually hear Cas' teeth clamp together as his hips jerked forward. He pulled at the zipper and tugged the jeans over Cas' hips, surprised to find him fully hard and straining against the fabric of his boxers. 

He mouthed at the fabric, tugging at the waistband and smirking at every moan that he drew. He was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath as he shoved Cas' boxers down with his jeans. Dean slid his hand up Cas' thigh, circling around the base of his cock and stroking upwards. 

Cas let out a stifled groan as Dean's lips wrapped around him, sliding along his entire length. Dean increased his speed, bobbing along as Cas' fingers slid into his hair - not holding him down, but smoothing through gently - and he pushed up into the touch. 

Cas' entire body tensed for a moment and one of his hands found Dean's shoulder, squeezing tightly. He groaned and pushed Dean back, whimpering as he pulled back.

"What-"

"Upstairs," he insisted, flushed and breathless. Dean revelled in the wrecked sounds of Cas' voice, the flush that spread down past his collar. He bit his lip, standing and pulling him into a kiss in one swift motion. 

"Now."

As soon as the door closed, Dean found himself pinned against it. Cas' mouth was on his in an instant, and he responded eagerly, flicking his tongue against Cas'. Warm hands pressed into his sides, sliding up with his shirt until they had to break apart for Cas to throw it aside. 

Hands and lips moved down, smoothing over his ass and nipping at his collarbone. A low moan slipped through his lips as Cas' mouth hovered over a nipple, tongue darting out against the raised flesh. 

"Cas- his plea was cut off as Cas bent down, wrapping his arms around Dean's thighs, and lifting him up carefully. He pressed him back against the door and Dean instinctively wrapped his legs around Cas' waist. Cas hitched him up, pulling him closer and their lips met again, soft but impatient. 

They crossed to the bed and Cas climbed onto it, kneeling on the mattress with Dean still wrapped around his waist. He leaned forward and Dean let go, falling back against the pillows. He reached up for Cas, but his hands were batted away as Cas undid Dean's jeans with a smirk. They were tossed aside shortly, joining his shirt on the floor. 

Cas quickly stripped his own jeans off, throwing them blindly away. His shirt shortly joined them and Dean pressed a hand to his chest, smoothing over the hard muscle. 

"Jesus, Cas." 

Cas hummed, leaning over Dean's chest and pressing soft kisses up to his chin. He rolled his hips against Dean's, sending a jolt up Dean's spine. Cas nuzzled against his neck, sucking at the sensitive skin and humming as Dean squirmed. 

"Tell me what you want, Dean."

"I want-" he moaned loudly as Cas' teeth grazed his throat, "I want you to-" His eyes lifted to Cas', pleading. "I don't- I just-" 

He was silenced by gentle lips. He knew Cas wanted to ask if he was sure, but he wouldn't. Dean brushed a hand through his hair with a smile. 

"I want you, Cas." He propped himself up on his elbows, rolling his hips up encouragingly. Cas nearly pulled him over as he tugged at Dean's boxers. He lifted his hips and Cas slipped them down and discarded them. He bent, kissing the inside of Dean's thigh, and rid himself of his own underwear. Cas' tongue continued tracing invisible lines on Dean's skin as his hand came up to push his legs further apart. 

Dean gasped as Cas' finger brushed over his entrance. His free hand stroked up and down Dean's side in comforting motions. He teased at the puckered flesh, pressing against it, but never breaching the ring, Dean writhed, releasing a long moan as Cas finally pushed in. He pressed back, but Cas held him still with a chuckle. He thrust in and out, and Dean's hips rose and fell in time. 

When a second finger was pushed in alongside the first, he bucked up instantly. Cas nipped at his thigh and Dean groaned. Cas' fingers spread, flexing back and forth. It was all at once too much and not enough and he pushed back against Cas, rocking his hips in time. 

" _Cas-_ fuck, _Cas please-_ " 

All contact was gone at once and Dean opened his eyes, not knowing when he shut them. Cas was kneeling above him, one hand on his own cock. Dean's cock twitched against his stomach and he groaned, letting his head drop back onto the pillow. 

"You," he kissed the inside of his thigh again, "need to be more patient."

"Please, Cas..." 

Cas' heat disappeared again, but he didn't have to wait long for him to return. He nudged his knees under Dean's leg's positioning himself impossibly slowly. Dean whimpered impatiently and Cas bent over him, sliding his hands up Dean's arms and entangling their fingers. He rested his forehead against Dean's, hair matted between them. 

"I love you Dean, you know that?" 

He hadn't known, but he did now. The warmth that swirled in his chest stilled, "Cas, I don't know-"

"I don't expect you to, I just want you to know." He smiled and Dean lifted up to kiss him quickly. Cas pressed forward and Dean's breath hitched as he pushed in slowly, holding Dean's hands beside his head. 

He clenched his hands against around Cas', teeth sinking into his lip at the dull pain. When he was fully sheathed, Cas stilled.

"Okay?" he breathed.

Dean shifted, pulling away and pushing back again. The pain was brief and Dean picked up his pace, grinning at each desperate moan being pulled from Cas' throat. 

He found himself held back against the bed as Cas regained control, rolling his hips forward in a smooth rhythm. Dean wrapped his legs around his back, forcing their bodies closer together. Their faces were touching, nose to nose; breathing each other's air. 

Cas released his grip on Dean's hands, smoothing them down his back, and easing him into his lap. His legs were still wrapped around Cas' back and he squeezed tighter, bringing his arms around Cas' neck. 

He would have been impressed with the amount of strength it took to hold him up if Cas wasn't so insistent on touching him. One hand was constantly roaming up over his shoulders, down over his ass and along the underside of his thigh. 

Dean rocked against Cas, his cock almost painfully hard as it rubbed against Cas' stomach. He groaned at the friction, pushing harder against him. 

"Fuck, Cas-"

Cas surged forward, their lips colliding in a rushed kiss, desperate and clumsy as his' speed picked up. 

Dean was close, he pulled Cas tight against himself, letting their eyes lock together for a moment before he kissed him. He thrust hard against Cas', his hips stuttering as his release spilled over both of them. His legs trembled and slid down Cas' back. 

"Holy fuck, Cas," Dean breathed. He was entirely limp for a moment, relying entirely on Cas to hold him up. 

" _Dean_ -" 

Cas came with a loud cry, holding Dean tightly against him, biting down on his shoulder. 

They sat, unmoving except for the rise and fall of their chests for what seemed like an eternity before Cas pulled back. 

"Shit," he muttered, "Dean, that-"

"We are definitely gonna do that again." He pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Cas' mouth and flopped back against the bed, gazing up at him. "You're a mess."

How Dean managed to stay upright in the shower, he would never know. They cleaned off quickly and climbed back into bed, throwing the top blanket against the dresser, it would have to be washed in the morning. 

\- - - - -

Cas was still asleep when Dean woke up and he propped himself up to look at him, trying to recall each moment that led him to this one. He glanced at the clock, just past five am. There was no way he was getting back to sleep now, though. 

He shifted to the end of the bed, pulling his duffel up to the edge. He grabbed a set of clothes, not paying attention to what he was actually putting on, and quickly dressed beneath the covers in case Charlie or Anna woke up. 

He ripped a page from his notebook and quickly scribbled a note before Dean crawled out of bed, pressing a kiss to Cas' temple before heading down to the dock.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I'm sorry this took so long. It was going to be much longer, and the next one would be short but then I screwed up and wrote the rest of the chapter in Dean's POV, but it's cute and fluffy so... c:  
> On the bright side, the next chapter will be longer than planned, but also the last.  
> I love you all for reading n_n

He rolled over into nothingness and was struck by a brief moment of panic. He sat up quickly, and found the folded piece of paper under the edge of his pillow. With a deep breath, he pulled it out and unfolded it, expecting the worst. 

Cas sighed with relief, his hands dropping into hip lap along with the paper. He held the note up again and re-read it just to be sure. 

_Cas - couldn't sleep, gone down to the dock to think - come sit with me when you get up_

He smiled, refolding the note and tucking it back under his pillow. He checked the clock - 5:45 am - it was early, but he was already awake and freezing so before he went to see Dean, he was going to have a shower. 

His hair was still damp, and his shirt hung unbuttoned over his chest when Anna found him. She was carrying two mugs of what smelled like coffee, but as soon as she spotted him, she set them down at the top of the stairs. 

"Morning," he smiled

"Morning yourself, why are you so happy this morning? If I didn't know better I'd say that's your 'I got laid last night' face."

Cas tried to keep his face calm, tried not to smile, but whether or not Anna noticed, he couldn't tell as she continued talking.

"So what, you finally told him? I know it obviously wasn't Sam, because everyone knows about him and Gabe; it's not Chuck because you wouldn't do that. So unless you've been lying to me - and everyone else, for that matter - about being gay all these years, it has to be Dean, right?"

"Anna-"

She grinned, "also you two were still pretty tangled up in each other by the time we came up to bed last night."

He tried to roll his eyes at her, but a grin crept onto his face that he couldn't shake. With a glance out the front window he shook his head, "I have to go see Dean."

Cas finished buttoning up his shirt, ignoring the smirk on Anna's face, and pulled on multiple layers under his coat. He wrapped a scarf around his neck and tugged a wool hat over his ears. 

Dean was sitting in a folding chair at the end of the dock wrapped up in a blanket with only his head visible. Cas shuffled up behind him and pushed his hands down Dean's chest. 

"'Morning Cas," Dean tilted his head back, falling easily into Cas' kiss. 

"I ran into Anna this morning. She uh, she knows."

"I figured it wouldn't last long. Gotta say, I expected a couple days at least."

"We do share a room, Dean."

He chuckled, pulling Cas down by his hands until he was leaning over the back of the chair. "Not tonight." 

Cas chuckled, "I guess not. Dean, what I said last night-"

"Cas. Look, I don't really have a clue how to feel right now. This is all so new and... let me tell ya, you are definitely the first guy I've ever been with. You're my best friend, Cas, and I don't want to lose you... I- I've never felt like this before." He closed his eyes and huffed a laugh, "that's the sappiest thing I have ever said, don't ever tell anyone said that okay?"

A hand was at the back of Cas head, bringing him closer to Dean. Soft lips met his, moving gently together. 

"I'm scared, Cas, to be perfectly honest."

"I'm not going anywhere Dean," he whispered, "just tell me what you want, we'll do it. I love you- sorry."

"Don't apologize, Cas. I like to hear you say it." 

"I love you, Dean."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, this is the last chapter! ;-;  
> I never intended to even write this story, never mind post it. But in a fit of madness I did, and you guys actually read it and ahhhh! I love you!  
> So many thank you's to flailingZombie, because this would literally not exist if she didn't encourage me.  
> Thank you so much to all of you who read it, you are awesome and wonderful!

Everyone ate breakfast together again; Chuck, Becky and Jo planned to leave before noon and they wanted to spend as much of Christmas Eve together as they could. They were all gathered in front of the lit fireplace, and most of them were humming some Christmas song or other. Sam had started singing Carols as soon as he got up - "as soon as his feet hit the floor" Gabriel had pointed out - and he hadn't stopped since. It had caught on quickly; even Dean had found himself murmuring the lyrics to Let it Snow, before Cas pointed it out to him with a grin. 

They had three hours together before Chuck, Becky and Jo were scheduled to leave, and Anna had just announced that she was leaving with them. Cas had frowned at her, but she shrugged and nodded subtly at Dean. He made a mental note to ask Cas about it later. 

"I promised Balthazar I'd spend Christmas with him this year 'cause he couldn't get the time off work to see Michael and Luce." She shrugged defensively, "I'll see you at New Year's anyway." 

"For now," Charlie put in, "we should do something. Something interesting. We've only got a few hours left together for the next week, so..."

"Snow forts," Gabriel smirked. Whether anyone else caught the not-so-subtle wink in Sam's direction, he didn't know, but Dean made a mock gagging face at him and turned to Cas for support, only to be met with a sheepish shrug. 

Ten minutes later saw them bundled up and bickering over who was going to build where. Gabriel, having been the first outside, was building around the edge of the house. Dean gave up, tugging on Cas' sleeve as he wandered across what normally would have been some sort of yard. He sat cross-legged on the snow and started pulling it toward him, forming the line of what he hoped would be the wall of their 'fort'.

"I'm surprised you're actually going along with it," Cas patted the snow into a hard line, "you're not exactly the 'go play in the snow' type."

"I'm in a good mood," he smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to Cas' lips, "and Sam and I used to do this all the time when we were kids." 

Cas nodded and returned to the wall. 

"You don't want Anna to go, right?"

"No."

"Come on, Cas. It'll be okay," he smirked, and Cas gave him a questioning scowl, soon answered as Dean pressed a ball of snow into the back of his neck.

"DEAN!" His shout earned the attention of the others and Dean barely ducked behind Sam and Gabriel's wall of snow as a snowball flew past his ear. 

"What the hell, Dean?" Sam groaned, taking the hand Dean held out to pull himself back up. Dean grinned and shrugged.

Snow slammed down on his head, and Dean gasped.

"That's my little brother you're picking on, Dean-o," Gabriel waggled his eyebrows and Dean immediately looked to Sam for assistance. Sam just shook his head, rolling snow threateningly between his hands. 

Dean retreated quickly, taking cover with Charlie and Anna. Becky and Jo joined them quickly, announcing that Chuck had sided with the guys. 

"Guys against girls then," Jo winked, nudging Dean's side.

"Hilarious," he mumbled

Charlie gave up after tripping over a rock, and Sam went inside with her to make sure she was alright. After that Chuck and Gabriel teamed up to destroy what was left of the opposing forts. 

Dean had Gabe on his tail, and he quickly ducked behind the house, running around the front to evade him. He looked back when he reached the back of the house, smirking with pride to see no one was following him, and he snuck back up the hill, trying to find a high point where no one would see him.

He stopped dead directly in front of Cas, looking around for anyone to defend them, but everyone was back behind the house. They were alone. 

The wad of snow left Cas' hand before Dean had a chance to duck and it hit his face dead centre, falling inside his jacket. In his scramble to get it out, he lost his footing. Instinctively, he reached out to Cas to help, instead pulling him down with him. They lay in the snow for a few moments, Cas laughing and Dean trying to catch his breath.

"Truce?" he asked, panting. 

"Okay," Cas grinned, tipping Dean's head forward to kiss him. His mouth was warm and soft against the cold of the snow and Dean found himself reaching up to pull Cas in closer. He moaned into Cas' mouth, pulling his knees up to force Cas closer. 

Cas' elbows were at his ears, hands clasped above Dean's head as he licked into his mouth. Dean arched against him, rolling his hips and nearly lifting Cas off the ground. Cas' breathing hitched and Dean felt a surge of pride and pressed up again, rewarding each moan and groan with a kiss against his neck, slowly making his way down to the collar of his jacket. 

He could feel Cas grind down against him, hard and impatient, with a growl in his throat. One hand slid into Cas' hair, while the other roamed down his back, settling on his ass. 

"We could do this," Cas breathed, "right here. No one's around..." he sucked at Dean's earlobe in unnecessary encouragement. Dean rocked up against him.

"I thought you hated the cold?"

"I don't hate it _that_ much," he lifted his head again, biting at Dean's lip, "I want you, Dean."

Heat seared through Dean's body, his cock twitched eagerly. 

"Yeah, Cas, yeah," he reached down quickly, pushing Cas up as he worked at the buttons of Cas' jeans. 

He froze with one hand shoved into the front of Cas' jeans as the sound of footfalls on snow interrupted Cas' moans. 

"You might wanna _not_ do that here," Jo's voice traveled over the hill, "Besides, Charlie has hot chocolate waiting for us inside."

"I'm not-" Dean started

"Dude, you're not exactly quiet. Come inside before Gabe ends up with photographic evidence." 

Dean waited until he heard the click of the door before even looking up at Cas again. He was just as flushed as Dean felt, and he lowered his eyes. Dean followed his gaze away from their bodies. 

Cas shook slightly as the laugh erupted from him, and Dean dropped his head back into the snow and laughter overtook him. They barely moved for what seemed like forever, laughing madly at nothing. 

"We should go inside," Cas sighed, attending to his unzipped jeans. 

They got up awkwardly, taking longer than necessary to brush the snow off of each other. Cas pulled him in again, kissing him deeply, though painfully brief. 

"We'll finish this later," he promised. 

\- - - - -

Charlie quirked an eyebrow at the pair of them as they made their way into the kitchen, flushed and still trying to catch their breath. Dean assumed Jo had been less than subtle when she had returned. 

They were offered hot chocolate, which Dean accepted happily after shedding his top, now soaked layer of clothing. He curled up on the chair next to the fire, smiling up at Cas as he perched on the arm next to him. Everyone was watching them now, expecting some big confession, no doubt, but Dean ignored them. He took Cas' mug, placing it on the hearth and slipped his free arm around Cas' waist, pulling him into his lap. 

Anna kept flashing excited grins at them, and even Gabe smirked once, tho he played it off as a gesture to Sam. 

They stayed like that until Chuck and Becky left to grab ther things. Jo and Anna followed shortly after and Dean shifted nervously as Charlie eyed them, glancing between the two of them and Sam and Gabe. He expected some sort of scolding, but all he got was

"It took you long enough," as she sat up to collect the empty mugs. 

Cas huffed a soft laugh against Dean's chest and he had to agree. 

They all gathered at the dock to see their friends off, Cas with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Dean hugged Jo tightly, wishing her a Merry Christmas. 

"Give my best to your Mom and Bobby, okay?"

"Yeah, Dean I know. Love you."

He glanced over at Cas and smiled at Jo, "yeah, you too. See you at New Year's." 

He backed off as Cas said goodbye to Anna, hugging Becky and jokingly taunting Chuck for being away for New Year's. When Cas' pressed against him, he turned his head with a grin.

"Anna wants to talk to you," he smirked, "have fun."

She pulled him to the end of the dock, looking directly into his eyes in a way that made Dean want to run and hide.

"Cas cares more about you than you probably know and normally I wouldn't say anything because it's not my place, but Dean, please, he loves you. Just don't..."

"I know," he interrupted with a chuckle, "he told me. Anna, I think I've got a lot more to worry about than he does. I've given the 'hurt my brother and I'll kill you' speech a fair few times in my life - remind me to talk to Gabe later, actually," she laughed and Dean continued, "We'll be fine. I promise, and look, if I fuck anything up you can send Gabe after me. God knows he'd be up for it," he added with a grin. 

"I will," she said simply, smile spreading across her face. 

They talked lightly as they rejoined the others, plans for New Year's and what they would do in the following twenty-four hours. Cas was waiting when they got back. He hugged Anna one last time - squeezing her with a demand to call when she got to Balthazar's- before looping his arms around Dean's waist again. 

\- - - - - 

The rest of the day continued lazily, Sam and Gabriel disappeared some time around two and no one dared go look for them, so Charlie and Jo dragged out an old board game, forcing Cas and Dean to play with them. 

No one mentioned it when Sam and Gabe reappeared hours later, and they started in on another game - more talking and laughing than actually playing. 

When they crawled into bed that night it was just them. Charlie had moved back into the downstairs room, and Dean had is own bed back, not that he needed - or wanted - it anymore. With a contented sigh, he pulled Cas against him, skin to skin, mumbling nothingness into his ear. 

"It's after midnight," Cas whispered, rolling to face him.

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry indeed," Cas chuckled

"Oh?" 

Cas opened his mouth to speak but Dean interrupted,

"And if you say something sappy like 'because I've got you' I swear to God, I will walk out right now."

Cas laughed, pressing their lips together in a lingering kiss.

"I do though, and I'm glad."

"Yeah, me too Cas."

"And besides, you wouldn't walk out on me now."

"What makes you so sure?" Dean smirked, dragging his lips along the edge of Cas' jaw. 

"I still have to keep that promise from earlier."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I have learned while writing this: do NOT write while talking to one specific person because then when they are asleep or not online, you suck. Thanks to Kelly for being online. Also thank you for the snowball fight!


End file.
